woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
