let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize