I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
