it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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