Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
