So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
