no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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