R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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