just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
