My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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