I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
