my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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