Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
operation harelip BJ is a go
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
