Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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