We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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