There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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