i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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