Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
