next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize