Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Terrible idea I love it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
