Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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