My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
