First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize