I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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