office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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