WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
