Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Houston, we have a squirter
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
