He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
