Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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