nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
