Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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