After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
