hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
worst night to have a conscience
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
