What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
