the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We need to get me chipped asap
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
