Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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