Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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