I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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