I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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