You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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