I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
