Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
