I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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