like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
