god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
