Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
