you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
