when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do vagina's smell?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
