How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need to calm my uterus...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
