You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize