i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
