You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
