he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
