when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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