theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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