Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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