Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
