Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
