Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
