I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
