drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
