for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
