That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
