Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
not ubering you a puppy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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