this boner is exhausting
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize