But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
