does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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