My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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