i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
