Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
